Jan 26, 2013 12:00am PST
it is next week and san francisco officials want to keep the peace. the 49ers beat their opponent the peacocks. the giants won the world series and post game celebrations included bonfires in the streets and broken windows and 30 sick sick -- 36 arrests and a sneaker covered in peanut butter. it was worth it because i like my peanut butter. the mayor is looking for ways to avoid a repeat and is repping bars serve only zima and chamomile tea. they should celebrate with something else. the uh knee bree yags helps with those who might go beyond the bounds accept ability in their celebration. discuss that the -- discuss the this -- >> lightning rooooouuuunnnddd. lightning round. >> lauren, you are a drunk who likes sports. this must anger you like a drunk sports fan would be angered by. >> i am at hooligan levels. >> what if they want to serve something other than alcohol? >> i don't know. this is information you would have found in your packet. apparently you were too busy doing other things. >> like being a journalist. coming up with solutions. >> and not reading the source packet.
Jan 30, 2013 3:00am EST
in guantanamo bay. >> that is not a lemur. >> have you been to the san francisco zoo and seen them? >> slow loriss -- everything in san francisco is fabulous. if you watch "red eye." slow loris is anything on the planet that matter. what i don't understand is when you look at that face why isn't that animal in anybody's home. there must be something evil about the slow loris that prevents it. >> they wander around your house while you are sleeping. >> i would love to have one jumping on my bed. they must spit or poop. they must fling poop at you. >> i would take it happily. >> i cannot -- i will let him [bleep]. >> you finally have gone too far. >> did i go too far? >> will that have to be edited out? >> no, we will add volume to it. >> we are not adding volume. >> i can get behind that. >> we are dropping audio on that sentence. >> we are dropping a deuce on all of this. >> >> now we only have a minute to talk about this. >> john, get me, did you ever think it was going to be closed? >> no, i knew that guy would be out of a job. >> that's funny. >> what are they going to do with these peop
Jan 31, 2013 12:00am PST
you know i am. >>> ticket master ceo has offered free super bowl tickets to a san francisco couple who lost nearly $6,000 in an on-line ticket scam. sharon osgood tried to purchase tickets on craigs list off a man claiming to be a baltimore season ticket holder who couldn't make the game because his wife was pregnant. after wiring the money all she got in return was a picture and a note that said go ravens, lol. that makes it cute, the lol. oh, okay, laugh out loud. after the story broke the ticket master honcho called to offer the tickets and a breakfast with troy aikman who i believe is the star of the popular show "dallas." let's discuss -- >> lightning rooooouuuuunnnnddd. lightning round. >> harris, how dare you question my expertise in pop culture? these people are dumb enough to get duped and a lot of people want tickets. why do they get free tickets? >> i am not saying the ticket master ceo nathan hubbard is a good guy. >> what does a good heart have to do with it? >> it is a public relations dream. let me answer the call and then that pumps up ticket master. i don't want to sou
Jan 24, 2013 3:00am EST
sports team of all time, the san francisco 49ers are about to be in the super bowl. and everybody knowss -- >> true, joe manhattan. >> a -- joe montana. >> a guy from notre dame. everything will be good. >> can you name the quarterback that was injured that allowed joe montana to play? >> i was negative 4. no i can't. i take that back. i was working on the carter administration. >> that was after watergate and things hashed out. >> i grew up with the 49ers and the oakland raiders and a harry guy named vic. he brought me to the games and did terrible things. imogen, you moved here so it can't be as bad as your silly island nation across the popped. across the pond. >> it was a lot of effort to be here. the financial times puts you as the brightest spot in the world. you are doing everywhere else. >> 30 seconds in your book, be happy, america. you feel better about the country. >> it was about five years ago. the ladder thing is bad. you say at the top of the ladder it is good and the bottom is not good. you are sitting there and you are breathing heavily and are you looking rom what we ea
Jan 11, 2013 12:00am PST
. >> barry bonds threw this whole scandal he was very popular in san francisco. they loved him. >> i tell you one think barry bonds won't be is broke. >> it is not stupid hall of fame, they did it for dollars. >> bill, i thought you slandered cooperstown about the crack about the meth labs. >> that was true, dear boy. >> the cooperstown news it says the meth labs are a growing part of the area. >> you know how i do that? i have eyeballs and i drove through there. it was by the skin of my pants. >> you know what he says? meth is also known as ice, crystal, crank, glass, speed, meth and dozens of other names. >> all names of my daughters. >> i love how you pretend this is news to you. >> i have no idea. >> these kids. >> by the way, speed. >> he just thinks you are talking about a pool. >> he says it is called speed as well. >> i remember that from the 1970s. >> same stuff. >> it is the same stuff. >> it is interesting you say that. >> quickly about lance armstrong, every seems holier than though. why was that the straw that broke the camel's back? >> i never paid attention to him . when that s
Jan 18, 2013 12:00am PST
lande rz are two people. >> did you know about the san francisco twins. >> the identical twins. >> we need to talk about toilet paper. something important is happening. >> big story. >> we need to talk about frozen toilet paper. are you listening to me? >> i am trying to talk about a really important news story here about frozen toilet paper and how it affects the hiney and no one is listening to me. you spent an entire segment talking about frozen toilet paper. i have to say, bill, you know on that point you are talking about how frozen toilet paper is a nice, cold compress. i would disagree. i don't like anything cold on my hiney. i am uncomfortable with that. >> i like hearing you say the word hiney and i ask you to do it again. >> is there a clever name for a frozen toilet paper? >> it is not frozen. it is cold. if it was frozen it would be terrible. >> well, maybe not terrible. >> terrible, greg. it would be terrible. and also, bill, by the way, on that point you made about the reasons you president do have a girlfriend, not liking bathroom doors would rank up high on that list.